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Our close companions for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered numerous hardships, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been often caught off guard by people. Her husband left her, and it was a massive blow. Many of her friends disappeared during that time, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. It shocked her. She made more effort to be my friend, likely grasped more clearly the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer turned on her, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

In recent times, we've both left the workforce leading to more frequent meetups, yet I realize my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I introduce topics of conversation but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. Politically, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend factchecking and alternate views.

She is organizing a holiday to a country I've visited many times even called home previously. I tried to share personal experiences, however, my input not welcomed. She essentially just desired validation of her plans. I recently returned from 30 days in that place and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to be a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, however, I feel she can grasp the effect of her actions on my self-esteem. Currently, my state is avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

One option is to cut and run, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing the usual pattern in your conversations. Aim for this to be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. Next is to express the way it makes you feel. This allows for no argument here. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. The third step is to question how the two of you will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Consider she too has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to hear that. An approach that works is telling her:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend may dismiss everything, as some people cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a story of their life they cannot release as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents familiar to them. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare in such cases, just dead ends. However, she might initially present defensively and then think about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you closure knowing you were open and direct.